So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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