Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
