I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
