stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
