It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
