all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
did you just send me my own nude
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
