i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
