Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
