I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
