we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
