peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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