I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
