I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
