were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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