Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
