I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I got inside last night via doggy door
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
