paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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