you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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