U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
