with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
