addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
