how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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