guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
