every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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