Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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