Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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