i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
