problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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