we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
