everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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