she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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