just come out here and I will go home with you...
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
