can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize