"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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