i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
