your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
