I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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