holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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