we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
