my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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