If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
