no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
