Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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