I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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