And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
