Say something about gay babies.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
