I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
