Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
