I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
