There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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