Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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