clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
