You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
