okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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