I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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