I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
where are you?
Hypothermia
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
