Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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