you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
