the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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