New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
