I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
