Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Found the puke drawer
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
