I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
