I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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