ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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