Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
