In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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