A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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