yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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