I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
